


With the passing of time

by master_of_random



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Grief/Mourning, How Do I Tag, M/M, Post-R2, R2 Spoilers, also my second fic on ao3, getting over heartbreak, initially unrequited love, my first code geass fanfic, they're two cinnamon rolls, too good for this world, too pure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 06:15:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4655757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/master_of_random/pseuds/master_of_random
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At first, it had been a simple curiosity, a silly question that had popped up in his head in the everlasting sadness that he had been thrown into ever since the person he cared the most about had died; but with the passing of time, it had become a sort of obsession. Maybe it was just a way to distract himself from his own grief, but he just couldn’t stand not knowing the identity of a man that lived so close to him, in the same damned palace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With the passing of time

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo here's a thing.  
> As you can see from the tags, it's Gino x Suzaku, a ship that I didn't even ship at first but that gradually took over my life D:
> 
> I'll say in advance that I am not a native English speaker, therefore I'm sorry for any grammar mistake, you'd be of much help to me if you noticed any and pointed them out to me c:
> 
> Noow, to the story (which I hope is at least decent ;;

Gino Weinberg had wanted to know who the man behind Zero’s mask truly was ever since he had appeared on his execution day to kill the Demon Emperor and free the world of Lelouch vi Britannia’s tyranny.

At first, it had been a simple curiosity, a silly question that had popped up in his head in the everlasting sadness that he had been thrown into ever since the person he cared the most about had died; but with the passing of time, it had become a sort of obsession. Maybe it was just a way to distract himself from his own grief, but he just couldn’t stand not knowing the identity of a man that lived so close to him, _in the same damned palace_.

That was the reason why, about two months after _that day_ , he was lurking just out of what he knew was the masked man’s personal room, in the emptiest part of the palace (Zero must’ve really valued his own privacy, Gino thought, but that again wasn’t surprising), waiting for him to come out.

He didn’t have to wait for too long. After not even half an hour Zero came out of his room, and as soon as he did Gino stepped in front of him, blocking his way.

<<Lord Weinberg>> greeted the other after a few seconds of silence, a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

<<Who are you?>>  Gino immediately asked, getting straight to the point, as was his usual.

Zero stood there, without moving or making a sound, as if frozen. Gino’s gaze, fixed on the mask, didn’t waver.

<<I guess you’re not going to tell me, are you?>>.

 Still no answer.

<<Well then…>>.

With a sudden leap forward, too fast for the other to dodge, he pinned the smaller man against the wall and quickly proceeded to remove the cursed mask, despite the other’s protests and attempts to free himself.

The moment he saw the familiar green eyes, a confusing mix of very different emotions washed over him. Disbelief at first, then wonder, a _tiny bit_ of anger (mostly for not having been told about something like _that_ by _him_ ) but, most of all, a lot of relief and joy.

He had thought Suzaku, his dear Suzaku, had died, forgotten somewhere a few meters under the soil, a tombstone with his name engraved on it the only evidence of his time among the living. Why had Suzaku sacrificed everything, even his life, for a monster like Lelouch vi Britannia, he would have never understood.

But then Suzaku was there, in front of him, _alive_. He looked fine, but the tired look in his eyes betrayed some kind of torment in his soul.

Gino kept staring at his friend, the Zero’s mask still in his hands. <<S-Suzaku…>> was the only thing he managed to stutter.

The former Knight of Seven, taking advantage of his sudden uncertainty, quickly removed himself from his position pinned against the wall and grabbed his wrist, pulling both of them into his room and then typing his personal code to lock the door behind them.

Then, Suzaku slowly pulled down the layer of black clothing covering his mouth and sighed lightly. He looked away from his face, down to the floor.

<<There are many things you have to tell me, Suzaku. And you’re going to do it now>> started Gino, breaking the silence.

Suzaku sighed again, probably realizing there was no use hiding the truth from him now. And he told him the whole story, his eyes growing darker and darker as he approached the epilogue.

It took Gino a while to process all that information. The Zero Requiem, the plan, his fake death, his new identity as Zero…

<<How many people know?>>  he asked after a short while, still bewildered.

<<Nunnally does. I’ve told her, it was her right to know. Kallen might have sensed something, but I’m not sure. And now, _you_ do, too >>.

That “you” came out of his mouth with what sounded like sadness, or tiredness. Gino was not sure.

<<You were not supposed to know>> the Japanese added after a short pause.

Gino felt the anger rise inside of him. Why did Suzaku always have to keep secrets from him? Wasn’t he even a friend to him?

<<I wasn’t supposed to know?>> he echoed, his tone irritated, throwing the mask into the floor <<Do you really think I’m so stupid that I’d go tell everyone in this damned palace? That I can’t keep a secret? Do you not trust me at all, Suzaku?>>.

The Japanese finally raised his now startled gaze to meet the Britannian’s one. He had never seen the Knight of Three that angry. Even when he should have been furious Gino had always sounded displeased or irritated at best; this reaction from his part was completely new to him.

<<No… it’s not that…>>.

<<The _why_ do you always have to keep secrets from _me_? Am I not even a friend to you? >>.

Suzaku lowered his gaze again.

<<I-it’s not that. I… the less people know it, the better it is for everyone. It’s just as simple as that>>.

<<That’s bullshit! The truth is that you just don’t trust me!>>.

<<I told you, it’s not that!>>.

<<You would’ve told Lelouch, wouldn’t you?>>.

The silence fell on the room.

And Gino understood he had gone too far when he saw Suzaku close his eyes, a slightly pained expression on his face. The grief for his best friend’s death, that he had been forced to _cause_ , was still present and burning; he knew how close they were, despite their different personalities and ideologies.

<<Sorry, I-I didn’t mean to bring back any bad memories>> he apologized, closing the distance between them and gently hugging the smaller teen. Suzaku didn’t hug him back, but he didn’t pull away, either. He took that as a good sign.

They stayed like that for a while, until Gino noticed his shirt was getting wet. He had gently pulled back, just to see Suzaku crying quietly, salty tears flowing down his cheeks, not a sound coming out of his mouth. Suzaku was always so quiet, Gino observed, even when he was crying.

<<No, no, no, Suzaku… don’t cry…>> were the only words he managed to say. And they sounded to pathetic. He tried to think quickly of what to do, but nothing came to his mind.

<<I>> suddenly started Suzaku, his voice slightly broken by the tears <<I didn’t want to kill him… he told me there was no choice, no other option, that I had to do it… and I stupidly did as he told me to>>.

<<Suzaku, Suzaku… it was not your fault. He asked you to do it, you didn’t act on your own accord… you did what he wanted you to do, he was happy with it, wasn’t he?>>.

<<But I still killed him! I killed him, and to me he was… he was… the most important person in my life!  And I am alone now… and I am so scared… scared of being alone… I am just so weak…>>.

 _“The most important person in my life”_ ; the words echoed in Gino’s head, and when the sudden awareness of what they meant hit him he felt a terrible ache deep in his heart. It had all been so obvious. The way Suzaku always tried to push him away, the way that he locked up his emotions, not letting him in… _as if someone he really cared about had hurt him badly in the past_.

But now, Gino thought, that _someone_ was dead; he kind of felt despicable for having such thoughts, but was a dead man really any match to him? Maybe, with the passing of time, Suzaku would have learned to open his heart again, maybe he would have finally accepted Gino’s love, even if just out of loneliness and desperation, it was ok for him, if that meant that he would have been able to stay close to him without being rejected…

He tried to temporarily block those thoughts out; Suzaku was crying, he needed to do something, _anything_ , to make him stop, to make him feel better. That was the most important thing, at the moment.

<<No, no, that’s not true! Being scared of being alone is a normal thing, it just means you’re human! But, Suzaku, you don’t have to do it all alone. I’m here now, I’m here for you. You don’t have to be alone anymore>>.

At that, Suzaku lightly raised his head to look into the taller teen’s blue eyes and, before he even fully realized what he was doing, Gino slowly leaned forward, until his lips were pressed on Suzaku’s.

It was a simple, chaste kiss.

As soon as he realized what he’d done though, Gino felt like an utter idiot. Kissing a person that had just practically _confessed_ his love for another in front of him? How much was he going to regret this?

He quickly pulled back, staring wide-eyed at Suzaku’s face, probably looking as shocked as the Japanese.

<<I-I’m sorry- I don’t know what got into->> he started, but he was cut off when he felt Suzaku’s arms around him. Was… was he _hugging_ him?

<<Gino… I’m so sorry… I made you suffer as well…>> the former Knight of Seven said, his voice still a bit shaky, but definitely calmer than minutes before.

<<It’s ok, Suzaku; you’re here with me now, you’re alive, and that’s all that matters>> he assured, hugging him back <<I was so desperate… when I came to know that you had died… it felt as if the whole world had come crashing down on me… but now you’re here, you’re fine and… I am so happy of this… so truly, truly happy>>.

They stayed like that for a while, Gino gently stroking Suzaku’s brown hair every now and then while he kept reassuring him that he wasn’t alone anymore, that he had him now…

********

The night breeze lightly moved Gino’s and Suzaku’s hair, lying as they were on the grass, the Japanese sitting next to the Knight of Three, who had wrapped his arm around the other’s shoulders.

These were the precious moments Gino loved, when no one else could see them (except for, at times, the Empress Nunnally and Anya) and Suzaku could finally take off the cursed Zero mask and go back to being Suzaku Kururugi, for a short while at least.

Gino moved his gaze to Suzaku’s face, and silently rejoiced to himself when he saw a small smile on it. Almost two years had passed, and he still loved to see Suzaku smiling, thing that, alas, didn’t happen often; more often than it occurred when he was the Knight of Seven, definitely, but it still wasn’t enough for Gino.

He had finally convinced the Japanese to tell Anya a few months after he himself had found out. When he had hesitantly removed his Zero mask in front of the teen girl, her typically flat expression hadn’t even wavered just one bit, but she had stared at the new Zero’s face for at least a few seconds, blinking, sign that she as well was surprised at the discover.

Empress Nunnally had been very happy when she had found out that Suzaku and Gino were again so close; <<Suzaku has such a heavy duty to the world,>>  she had once told him <<I am so glad he can have someone else close to him who loves him and shows him affection; please take good care of him, Lord Weinberg>>.

And he had promised that yes, he would have taken care of the Japanese boy, something he had sworn to himself long before he had to the young Empress.

Gino lightly tightened his arm’s grip around Suzaku’s shoulders; sometimes he was still afraid he would’ve fled away from him, that he would’ve never seen him again.

The Britannian raised his eyes to the starry sky, in which the small globes of fire shone brightly I the darkness of the gardens of the Imperial Palace. He reflected that that was one of the few places Suzaku could go to as a free man. In any other place he was trapped, either by the walls of a palace or by his own cursed mask. He had gone to many different nations around the world to accompany Empress Nunnally in political meetings or diplomatic missions, but he had done so without ever being able to take off his mask. He had seen many things, but enjoyed none.

<<Don’t you ever want to take off that stupid mask and just walk in the streets like a normal person, Suzaku?>> he had once asked him.

The former Knight of Seven had been silent for a while, until a sad smile had crept on his face.

<<Yes, I do>> had come the quiet answer <<But this is the destiny he chose for me, that’s how he ordered me to live, and I made a promise, a promise that to the very last day of my life I intend to honor>>.

Suzaku had been silent and morose for the rest of that day, just barely talking to Gino; and he had learned not to ask about _some things_ anymore.

Sometimes the Japanese still had days in which he was particularly quiet or sad, and Gino, without even having to ask, just knew that he was thinking about him. And he got jealous, just to realize, a few moments later the by now well-known feeling had presented, how incredibly stupid and useless being jealous of a dead man could be. And still, he could not help but experience that feeling at least a tiny bit each time he was made to think about it.

He had no doubt that Suzaku’s feelings for him were sincere, that he wasn’t being used as a replacement (or at least, not _anymore_ ), but he guessed that someone who had been as close to the boy as Lelouch vi Britannia was really hard for him to forget, and he honestly couldn’t blame him, because, if Suzaku had actually been dead, wouldn’t he be acting the same way?

Maybe one day, with the passing of time, Lelouch vi Britannia would’ve become just a nostalgic memory in Suzaku’s heart, still painful, but that wouldn’t hurt and wouldn’t be as real as it still was. Deep inside, Gino doubted it, but still he could hope.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo here it is
> 
> Hope it was good
> 
> Please review if you'd like to :3


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